Love - Life Letter 💌

i'm wondering and curious...

How her life ended, with all of her amazingly genuine hearted to passed her-damn-life circle.

i always want to bring her a day full of joy. but I can't.

For the rest of her life, she was fought with a long-long-journey to survive from all of people's humiliation by yelling, cursing, and insulting.

if i were her, i'm done before it ends. 

When she sad, there is no one tears dropped because she knows nobody could help her than Allah. And facing the truth when there's no one beside in her sadnesses... it hurts. Ya, it hurts me so much. 

Her pain, no one can healing her pain, I thought. Even our existence it wasn't enough.

she never had a good place to chillin' , this morning she was told us about her dream house. And it made me .... i cannot describe.

and she never had a 'me time' even for enjoy her sleep every single day. Sometimes she have to 'escape' and going to my boardinghouse to refresh her mind, but i know it was't help enough.

Mom, i'm so sorry for all that was happened to you in the rest of your life. As an older daughter, i'm not satisfied you or motivate you when you feel you're done with your life.  Me and your son is to weak to face this world. Or talking to tou. We're all nothing!

you always motivate your children behind all your problems and it pressures. You entertain yourself among us , trying to join me when i watch a korean movie and laugh. Let bygones be bygones.

in your difficulty, we always want to be like someone else, we want this , we want that, and what you are saying just "okay, we will buy it later" 

i'm really sorry for my silence and just listening when you complaining your day is not great as you expected.

i'm sure that your strength is have no limitations until your heart stop beating. 

You said that you have a conviction, 

your belief is we have to sure for all the things happen is already arranged by Allah. No one could denied.

My biggest hope is i can being like you. 

i know in many times you debate a lot with many people include me. 

i know you never trust anybody for everything.

i know .. your husband and your kids let you down a lot, so do i.

and i know i will never made a best caption or words enough to describe how proud i am as a daughter who have a superwoman like you in my life.  

🖤 you mom.